"The seas only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now, I don’t know much about the sea, but I do know that that’s the way it is here, and I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."
- Into The Wild
Today this quote resonates within me with more power than ever. Because when I got “home” to LA this evening, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of weakness. A feeling that I wanted to shy away, to crumple into a heap and to cry, to fall asleep simply so I could escape from anything real, and therefore frightening. And that feeling utterly depressed me. I hoped momentarily for a future that would cut all my ties to the past, and I wanted it to come quickly. And then I realized if I go into that future feeling weak and afraid I will make nothing beautiful of it and will have wasted a lovely life. So this is the task at hand. My fear.
Well I’ve been afraid of changing
Cause I built my life around you,
But times makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older, too
Eggs Benedict is equally divine without the english muffin.
I just spent five days sharing your bed and your hands and your lips and the shower with you
And here I am on a couch wishing we could share this time, space, and feeling too